Agree to disagree !

Agree to disagree" or "agreeing to disagree" is a phrase in English which refers to the resolution of a conflict which is usually a debate or argument, in this all parties tolerate but do not accept the opposing position(s). Every coin has two sides and as said there are always two sides to a story. We may not agree with the other side, but it is also very important to make peace with disagreements.

For example we always have different opinions or views or we agree differently on many topics like -you and your friend disagree on which season of Game of Thrones is the best, who should get voted out of the Bigg Boss home? Views on political, social or religious topics? Or the worse is having arguments about which mobile operating system is better, android or apple? Or being a vegetarian is better or a being a non veg eater !!! All have different views and it is not always possible to agree on all things and not have an opinion .In todays world It is hard enough to find friends with whom we can connect and like their company and can actually spend good time. So how do we make sure we don’t let differences get in the way of our friendships? This is indeed a very tricky question and such situation of varied views can be stressful to deal with.

The most convenient or obvious solution would be to treat those topics you disagree on as taboo and never speak of them, one should always avoid getting out such topics where you know the opinions vary and the end result would be devastating but that is not always possible to avoid. So how to navigate those conversations so that they don’t influence your relationship?

There are few pointers one can keep in mind:

Always Acknowledge - Always look from your friend’s viewpoint! Don’t be in a hurry to discard it, be patient ! You may have already made up your mind on your stance! But you should always listen to others views. There is no harm in doing that! Instead of taking the “I am right, you are wrong” approach, ask “Why do you think so?”, or “What makes you feel that way?”use such statements to make the conversation go smooth and healthy.

Never get Personal - If you somehow don’t agree to the topic, don’t make personal attacks! Always choose you words wisely. Put yourself in the persons position and think how would you feel if someone acts so harsh and pokes holes in your beliefs which you think is true. Never raise your voice explain why u feel different about it. If your friend apologises, it is good and wants to end the topic expect the apology and  do not start sharpening your verbal sword to prepare for a battle by proving that you are superior and have won the argument!

Worth the effort? - Before getting into any heated conversation always ask if it is actually worth the effort! Pick up battles wisely! Before you launch yourself in any topic think about the facts and figures to support you  stance and is it actually worth the time !So it is always okay to acknowledge your friends position and let the topic go, by doing this you are not going to lose anything or you will feel like a looser or less than your friend! Infact this will prove your level of maturity and the smartness of avoiding such conversation!

Sometimes the disagreement is personal, we often hurt each other on personal topics the beliefs and values may be different, so talk it out! Never take it to the heart and feel hurt and then drag the topic forever! Discuss with your friend why you were hurt and after repeated attempts you don’t see any change in your friends behaviour or thinking so this is causing a rift in the relationship! So you should always be open to change and accept others agreements.

Opinions are formed very quickly and it doesn’t take much time but it takes a lot of time for people to be convinced and change it! So please keep this in mind the next time you ‘agree to disagree’.